'My son has been victimized by pornography ...'

by A Mother Who Cares

My son has been victimized by pornography. The sad part for me is that I have been a fighter of pornography in my community in the past and still speak up whenever I can. I just looked up in my son's memory book I keep for him as to when we found out about his being on porn sites. It was last July, but seems like a shorter time ago than that. My oldest daughter alerted me that someone was on porn sites.

I did not know how to tell as I was not brought up in the age of the computer. I was shocked and sort of discounted it. Then my teenage son told me the same thing a few days later. My preteen son was in the room and I asked him to talk to me. I knew it was not my teenage son, a mother knows her children. We went to my room so I could privately communicate. My heart was racing and my throat dry as I asked him if it was he who was accessing porn sites. He readily admitted to it and said he first came upon a site through a link from the Lord of the Rings site. We spoke frankly about the dangers of this type of material and how it alters a young man's view of women.

Time has passed and we continue to communicate. He openly talks to me and his father. We have a block on the computer now. It is odd that we did not have one earlier, but we were so trusting and naive thinking our children would never do such a thing. We were good parents who were bringing our children up in the faith and [thinking] something like this happened to other people. Our computer was in the dining room where everyone was around and I was always monitoring what the kids were doing. We carefully monitor the TV and want our children to have positive messages entering their minds.

Having never been to a porn site we did not realize how tricky they are. When I accessed them to see what my son had been exposed to I found I could not easily exit. As I closed down one site, a pop up to another comes up, then as I tried to close that one another just as vile site pops up. It is no wonder they hook young men with their tenacious techniques. They don't want them to shut down their sites and so make it almost impossible to do so.

It was a huge heart break for me to view the sites my son had seen. The pornographers stole my son's innocence and the horrible part is it happened in my own home! He saw more perverted sex on those sites than I have ever seen in my 51 years of living.

When I was actively fighting porn in the late 80's and 90's the porn industry was not near as graphic and perverted as this obscene stuff. I have had sleepless nights and mental torment as I contemplate the damage to my son. He is a great young man and really very virtuous. We have grown closer as a result of this experience. He has been drawn closer to God as he has cried out for help in his own private torment. The longer that he has been away from this stuff the easier he has found it to be to stay away from it. He knows for him it is a place of temptation and sin. I pray for my son to grow up to be a man who honors God and other people. I want him to really love his wife some day if he chooses the married life. The only way to do that is to be pure in mind and body. Pornography pollutes the mind. It changes the sexual relationship to one of seeking self satisfaction and viewing one's partner as an object.

In conclusion, I beg anyone who has the will to fight pornography to please do so. Our sons and daughters need us all to speak out to stop the victimization of men, women and children by this evil industry. They care nothing for relationships. Pornographers care about making money. They do this by hooking our children on their product. They have hurt my son and me, but it will be over my dead body that they will steal the heart and mind of my son. I love him and will fight to save his soul and those of other children. Pornographers must not win this battle!

My husband is a private business owner and we do not believe in big government interfering in the private sector. However, the porn industry is not an authentic industry. They delight in the abuse and victimization of people for sexual pleasure. Our forefathers would be aghast to see what is being allowed to flourish in this nation in the name of free speech. Our government must get involve to protect our children and the future of this nation.

Sincerely,

A Mother Who Cares